Mittens Are So Damn Hot Right Now

Kurt Warner In MittensMatt Leinart, fantasy football backup and timeshare quarterback extraordinaire, is donecakes for the rest of the season. Fortunately, the absence of Leinart means that Grandpa Mittens (David Carr is to Kurt Warner what Matt Holliday is to Mark McGwire, if that makes any sense) is taking the Buzzsaw wheel by two gloved hands for the rest of 2007. Or at least for as long as he can hold onto the ball. One could argue that Warner’s choice of accessory doesn’t qualify as mitten-esque, in the dainty sense of Carr’s gloves. In fact, all evidence we’ve seen is that he’s basically sporting a glorified batting gloves with receiver tack on them. But you know what? When you rock out the old limp wrist (let’s not even get into that creepy vein on his right arm) like Kurt is here, you’re wearing goddamned mittens, okay?

In other news, the Cardinals elected to roll with Tim Rattay instead of bringing in Vinny Testaverde on Tuesday evening. The AARP office was all kinds of crazy this afternoon. But there are still *ahem* plenty of teams looking for a ageless wonder veteran presence to backup an injury risk starter. So Cats fans, don’t be surprised when you see that pimped out Hover-round rolling into BOA in the next few days.


Who Will be David Carr’s Trent Dilfer?

Plummer, Rattay, Leak and VinnyWith Jake Delhomme donecakes for the year, brings up the 25 pound pink elephant balloon this morning; who are the Panthers going to sign to backup David Carr? (And will that person fall in behind Matt Moore as well? – That’s us asking, not them.)

The list of starting NFL QB’s hurt and ailing is lengthy enough to prompt Trent Edwards, Brodie Croyle, Trent Dilfer, Cleo Lemon, Gus Ferrotte, Kurt Warner and Brian Griese to all end up as starting signal callers in week six. Edwards and Croyle aren’t washed up nobodies, but they’re rookies. Warner is a former two time MVP but Satan cashed that contract in a few years ago. And Brian Griese’s dad is famous. So he’s got that going for him.

But who’s out there for the P-cats? Remember, Mittens already has a bad back after getting sacked (the Saints first and only sack of the season!) Sunday. With that in mind, we need someone who can actually play the position.

Update: Looks like we can just about scratch Vinny off the list.

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