Mittens Are So Damn Hot Right Now

Kurt Warner In MittensMatt Leinart, fantasy football backup and timeshare quarterback extraordinaire, is donecakes for the rest of the season. Fortunately, the absence of Leinart means that Grandpa Mittens (David Carr is to Kurt Warner what Matt Holliday is to Mark McGwire, if that makes any sense) is taking the Buzzsaw wheel by two gloved hands for the rest of 2007. Or at least for as long as he can hold onto the ball. One could argue that Warner’s choice of accessory doesn’t qualify as mitten-esque, in the dainty sense of Carr’s gloves. In fact, all evidence we’ve seen is that he’s basically sporting a glorified batting gloves with receiver tack on them. But you know what? When you rock out the old limp wrist (let’s not even get into that creepy vein on his right arm) like Kurt is here, you’re wearing goddamned mittens, okay?

In other news, the Cardinals elected to roll with Tim Rattay instead of bringing in Vinny Testaverde on Tuesday evening. The AARP office was all kinds of crazy this afternoon. But there are still *ahem* plenty of teams looking for a ageless wonder veteran presence to backup an injury risk starter. So Cats fans, don’t be surprised when you see that pimped out Hover-round rolling into BOA in the next few days.

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Time to Leave the Gloves On

delhomme-carr.jpgThe Charlotte Observer has announced today (via Charlotte.com) that Panthers quarterback and chicken and biscuit hawker Jake Delhomme will undergo season ending surgery on his right elbow sometime next week.

What does this mean for Panther fans?

(Well, besides this website actually gaining relevance, that is.) It means that Mr. Mittens, David Carr, is the heir apparent to ball control duties in Cha-town, that’s what. He started last week’s loss to the Bucs and this week’s win over the Saints, and even played briefly in a brilliant head-to-head matchup against Joe[y] Harrington. But now the team is his.

And you know what? We think he’s going to leave his (lack of) fingerprints all over the Panthers by the time the season culminates in a shocking Super Bowl victory ends.

We’ll admit that at first we weren’t too fond of the notion of Carr running the Panthers offense, particularly given how inept he looked against Tampa Bay. But there’s something inspiring about a man who’s not afraid to wear white gloves. And now, we’re here to fire up the David Carr bandwagon. Tickets are free. And since Matt Leinart ain’t seeing the field for the next few fortnights, we’re stealing his slogan faster than he swiped Paris’ V-card.

Ride or die, people.

The Mittens Era begins now.